A funny read for warrior tanks

I laughed through this entire thing, especially the miniwing part and the hearthstone part:

LESSON 1: EDUCATING THE DAMAGE DEALERS OF THE GROUP
Many DPS'ers have the (incredible false) belief that they are the ones pulling the group through the instance. This cannot be any further from the truth. Let them know that they are easily replaceable. A very easy way to do this is to kick them from the group, and summon a non-combat pet, and tell your DPS that for the first pull, they will be replaced by the snake/cockroach/chicken/seagull. Complete the pull and invite them back into the group after putting away your pet.

This will show them that they are, like your miniwing, simply garnish beside the main course (yourself). Naturally, a main course (such as steak) may have many garnishes. Some of which may include tiny pearl onions, carved carrots, or maybe some stylishly fashioned broccoli. By simple math, we can determine that DPS = broccoli, and everyone hates them and only accept them because mothers say that it's good for you, which I guess they kind of are for the group.

Note: If you for some reason don't manage to finish that pull in under a minute (one cause may be low DPS) and your DPS'er gets ported back to his home location via hearthstone, no worry. Simply tell him to find a replacement for himself because he is completely of no help to the group




This thread is all about ranting and raving about those players who are somewhat less experienced or in the words of and englishman "total bloody friggin newbs". Allow me to start this most civilized of discussions. i play a lvl 36 priest so as a healer i have plenty of annoyances:

1. Paladins who try to tank even though there is a perfectly good warrior around.
2. Paladins who waste all their mana in a very futile and sad effort to tank and expect a priest to heal them once they are on the verge of death, even though due to their stupid efforts everyone else has to be healed also.
3. Having to fix problems that paladins create.
4.Paladins
5.Paladins who dont use their judgements to make mobs severly more vulnerable to holy spell damage.
6.Paladins
7. Paladins who fail to bubble priests who get into a jam because of the pally's dumb mistakes.
8.Warlocks who think that just because they are gonna die means that they should fear a mob in a lame attempt to survive thereby creating massive aggro and more work for the priest which ultimately results in the death of the whole party.
9. Paladins.
10. People who criticize priests who let them die. Im sorry but some people are just more important for group survival than others i.e. priest dies= group death
11. Newb mages and paladins that AOE even though there are monsters nearby that have been sapped.
12. (This one really hurts me to add to the list because its my favorite class) Shammy's who use strength of earth totems on huge mobs instead of being practical and using the defense totem and the windfury totem.
13.Paladins.





retarded:

o one wants an elemental shaman in their raid. Sure, they might bring you and you might (mistakenly) believe that you are a valuable/important part of the raid, but in reality, you are a wasted slot. Elemental shamans have none of the utility of a mage (sheep, AI, water, nova, scorch) but what they lack in utility they make up for by lacking in DPS as well. They also cant match a warlock in DPS, nor do they have the utility of curses.

Basically, Eleshamans could most easily be equated to hunters if hunters had no misdirect, no traps, no feign death. Hunters add 3% damage to their group and that is about what eleshamans add with their 1 gimmick totem, except that hunters do more damage. "But Dunsparrow," you say. "Eleshams add 3% hit AND crit." Wrong. All casters are already hit capped without your sorry totem because the fact that you are elemental means you are stupid and therefore aren't brought to every fight because you do stupid crap like stand in fire (except on Twins where you stack shadow to 20). Someone so self-centered that they cant be bothered to press more than 1 button is also not going to be showing up every raid.

Even if you were in every encounter, casters would literally have to spec and gem after they knew their group makeup to take advantage of your totem. I know I love to re-gem my gear every raid. Oops, you died from standing in fire, resist resist resist resist resist. Did you seriously just ankh while the fire was still there? Go respec.

Choose enhancement and up the threat gen of the tank or the DPS of the melee substantially. Or, choose resto and be the best 1-button healer in the game. That might be too tough for you though, since you have to choose targets (sometimes) rather than just pressing 3 over and over with one hand while you play Mahjong Online with the other. While standing in fire, again. Nice. No, dont ankh.

This spec was put there so bad players could pop cooldowns in the arena prep room before the match starts, not for raiding. Go respec.




We don't raid with a ret pally because we don't have a competent one. And haven't met a competent, mentally stable one since Horde got paladins.

Seriously, ret pallies fall into one of 3 categories horde-side usually...

So dumb they spend half the boss fight running face-first into a wall and not even doing what they're supposed to be. Can't handle the difficulty of blessings. Not specced for Kings, and either just doesn't give ANYONE a blessing, or gives enhancement shamans wisdom and holy priests salv. Judgement on the boss? You're kidding, right?

Unstable. Turn up to raids as holy, prot, or ret depending on the phase of the moon, without enough money to respec to their actual raid spec. Spend DKP on loot for all three sets, attempting to buy things like the Kaz'rogal shield over the MT, rather than picking it up as an off-set piece after the actual tanks all have it. When told not to be a Loot Enthusiast™ and pick and stay with a spec for raids, rant about how the world is against them and emoquit.

Lolret. Would be competent if they paid attention, but they're too concerned with showing off how badass they are. Charges Gruul alongside the MT, throws one crusader strike, eats a hurtful, and spends the rest of the fight lying on the ground. Pulls aggro on Hydross phase changes despite rest of guild yelling "WATCH YOUR THREAT". Pretty much every WWS shows them as doing 1k dps, but only doing it for 30 seconds before they keel over dead from standing in the fire.

The only competent pallies I've played with have been holy or prot. So, we make do.

Fuckin A!!


I hope you're listening to that you overrated ele shamms!!!